What Now? Now What?

Ever since I finished my degree a month ago I have been struggling with what to do next. Three or four years ago I evaluated my life and made a list of goals. I was always complaining about my weight and a guy I was dating at the time (August 2007) told me if I didn’t like something about myself, change it. I didn’t like the comment. But it stuck with me and after a year or so I took the two things about myself I liked the least (my weight and my undergraduate degree) and decided to make goals to change them. It has taken some time but I finished my Nutrition Degree and my weight is pretty close to where it needs to be, SO NOW WHAT? I don’t know. I honestly do not know.

There are things I need to do like get my finances in order and pay off my school bills. There are things I would like to do but have no control over like getting married. But what to I want in life that is under my control? I don’t even know what I like to do anymore. I like teaching fitness classes but I don’t love it like I used to. I enjoy helping people at the store but something is missing. I don’t know if all of the turmoil in my personal life has just taken a toll (fighting back tears as I type) or if I have just reached a crossroads in my life. There’s no hurry to make new goals but life needs direction and I’m just not sure where I’m headed.

Should I apply for a dietetic internship? Should I resume or discontinue being a biofeedback technician? Should I take the exam to become a dietetic technician? Should I pursue another fitness certification like R.I.P.P.E.D. or Yoga? Can we build a bigger store one day? Should I stick around to see or should I leave and spread my wings? Should I date or does it make me too much of a basketcase? Am I losing my mind?

I. Just. Don’t. Know.

Getting out of hand

  I’ve lost five pounds since Sunday 😮

I’m getting ready to sub my third class of the week and I’ve been to Hot Yoga three times. I didn’t eat enough Wednesday and yesterday I was too sad to eat. My sister says I need to snap out of it and she’s right. My ex boyfriend isn’t worth all of the tears and starving myself over. I’ve gone past my goal weight so I guess I’ll either have to start maintenance because I’ll still probably lose another 3-4 lbs with more subbing and Zumba Convention coming up and I don’t need to lose anymore. People are starting to ask me if I’m sick or have a health problem…Probably because I’ve been looking to damn sad. Not anymore. I’m at my goal weight I should be elated. It’s taken me a real long time to get here. I haven’t seen this side of 145 since 2005 when I gained thirty pounds in about three months. Never again, way to hard to get it back off.

I’ll be back to post later about Garden of Life’s RAW Fit which I believed has helped me reach my goal and I need lots of positive vibes to pass my personal trainer exam in 10 days!!!