Oats, Gluten, and Why I need to go Paleo

I give up trying to eat Gluten Free Oats. I’ve tried every brand: Bob’s Red Mill, Glutenfreeda, Arrowhead Mills, Purely Elizabeth, steel cut, rolled, bran, etc., the results are always the same…bloat, inflammation, misery. Oats are gluten free but they have avenin, a protein similar to gluten but apparently 99% of celiac can do oats, NINETY NINE PERCENT! I just have to be the 1% 😥 I have the same problem with quinoa; turns out they have proteins similar to gluten also and can illicit the same reaction. I love tapioca rolls, unfortunately tapioca doesn’t love me. Millet and I broke up over a year ago. That leaves rice, buckwheat, amaranth, corn, and really random grains like sorghum and teff. Let’s be honest, I don’t need those either I’m five pounds overweight and 15-20 pounds from actually being able to wear the majority of my wardrobe. I hear you food gods, no grains. No grains. No grains. No grains. Perhaps I should get out my mala beads and chant that 108 times. Everyday, for forty days. Then maybe I can stop eating carbs. I hate carbs. My thighs like carbs and so does my belly, the more I eat, the bigger they get. I’m not really sure what my belly looks like since it changes daily based on whatever I eat. Oh yeah, it likes dairy, too. 

So, we come to Paleo. A diet free of dairy and grains, the perfect fit. And for now, that’s the goal….just to let go of those two food groups. I mean if take out more than that, there really isn’t enough left to be successful. There’s sugar, but Paleo is free of that too, at least the granulated stuff, legal crack. So that’s the goal. No grains. No grains. No grains. 

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